Bouncy Elephants And Robots Dance

If you take the first letter of each word of the title you get a new word. That's right ladies and gents, my title is based solely around the glory that is facial hair because well why not. But now to introduce myself, Hi, i'm Julie, Part of your average family I got a dad A mom, And a sister... Over there? That's Donnie, we found him, and Darwin He found us. About our house It moves because we travel all over the world. You see my dad hosts his nature show,
And... my mom shoots it, Okay so we're not that average.
but between you and me, something amazing happened
and now I can talk to animals! It's pretty cool and totally secret, and you know what?,Life will never be the same. Oh wait, that's not me, that's Eliza Thornberry, oh well.

The Heater

Sometimes the heater in my room likes to make snake noises in the middle of the night. I would tell it to stop but it really isn’t my place to dictate what it does with its talents. I will support it until the end, despite how scary and alarming it can be to hear a fake snake at 3 am… ugh okay 4 am. It is an extremely accurate impression. Its possible that it was so realistic that I turned my light on multiple times just to check. It is also possible that I am now envisioning being slithered on when I go to sleep. The blanket may keep away monsters and maybe even murderers but lets be realistic here, a snake can make its way into anything. Its all sneaky and oooo I bet thats where the word snake comes from. It can’t just be a coincidence that snake sounds like sneak. Sneaky snake, Snakey sneak… sweet jesus i’m going to be coiled to death.

textposter2:

if you’re ever mugged by someone just scream ‘SWIPER NO SWIPING’ at them and by the rules of crime they have to stop

(via towonderlandandbeyond)

badcgijosh: My mom just got back from Spain and I guess she missed me or at least missed annoying me because she immediately went to our kitchen, got a banana, and now she keeps holding it out to me saying “phone call for you” There’s never anyone calling

badcgijosh:

My mom just got back from Spain and I guess she missed me or at least missed annoying me because she immediately went to our kitchen, got a banana, and now she keeps holding it out to me saying “phone call for you”

There’s never anyone calling

(via iloveyoulikekanyeloveskanye)